Let me share a poem first and then I’ll share my thoughts. Perhaps the poem will make more sense then. Let me know your thoughts. How are you coping?
The Virus Life is an inevitability inside my garden Just as death has become one on the outside. Like the green creepers snaking the bare branches which appear As a vestigial winter, lifeless and still. Somewhere, someone’s daughter wears blue, Returning home, ignoring the rainbows held in glass. She longs to sleep, to dream away the memory of gasping breaths And grasping hands, clinging hopelessly to one last night. And there is a bee stuck inside the house, Flinging itself against the window, Tapping relentlessly, looking for a way out, where it can find none. I let it out, then we eat lunch inside the garden. We remark at the late tulips and the early roses, In the bright Easter sunshine of this mid-April, When dying has become common place, And the miracle of coming home or rising up is for the blessed. Somewhere, a man walks and walks Until he falls in the dirt that matches the colour of his skin. He has no time for rest and no money for food, And he gets up to walk again. And somewhere, another man runs and runs, Away from the crisis of his futility and Back to the boredom of our crisis. Where he will wash his hands and hold his wife and children. And all the while, I worry about where to buy eggs and the growing folds in my flesh, And what to teach my children. Oh, what lessons we have learnt! What lessons have we learnt? But I am grateful as well, Because the bee is no longer stuck inside.
This is such a strange time for us all. So much has been written about it and I really have nothing new to add. My thoughts and feelings have ranged from anger, frustration, resignation, gratitude and peace. Here’s a list of some thoughts.
- Some days, I’ve wondered what the point was of getting out of bed and if it wasn’t for the responsibility I feel towards my children, I think I would have wallowed in my own self-indulgence until I really, really had to get up.
- The news makes me laugh and makes me shout in anger also. I see Trump and watch his statements to the press, and I hear our own politicians and I think that perhaps I could do their job equally as badly. Maybe, I’d do better!
- I see posts on social media of people really winning at home-schooling and being crafty and creative with their kids and I have to admit, I’ve posted as well, so sorry! And it makes me feel like I’m failing. I couldn’t sustain it and I should have known. I am succeeding in keeping them fed, clean and engaged, however, although all that is rarely ‘Instagrammable‘.
- I am procrastinating with my writing. I can never wake up early enough. Today is an exception, but maybe not…who knows. No pressure.
- I have to be kind to myself. I have to be kind to myself. I have to be kind to myself.
Again, how are you all doing?